i just had sex bonerless
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
