maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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