I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
