I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So much Jack, so little girl.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
