So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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