Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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