Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
