We won't sleep together?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
