Plan B is the new Plan A
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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