i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
