Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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