I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
