Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
