I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
