Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
