how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
