she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When are your genitals available?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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