why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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