Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
And then he peed in my hair
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