what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
