That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
