around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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