I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
