i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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