omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
