It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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