The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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