Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
