You're so nebulous sometimes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
