The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
