i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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