well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
