My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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