WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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