I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
