90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
