We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
