we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
