Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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