She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
