ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
