Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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