what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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