thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
