He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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