I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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