NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
