Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
