i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
