Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
